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CATHETERS

by Jon Epworth

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    this album was recorded at 24/96 kHz on some highfalutin, fancy-dan gear.
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1.
one man suffer one man profit reaching into other's pocket pocket empty still demanding stripped beyond all understanding we can see it empathizing why are we not mobilizing where's your fire and more importantly where is mine he replacing what we cherish building mansions ostentatious oligarchy is obtaining while i frozen stand complaining mere objections hold no meaning if not followed by throat bleeding where's your fire and more importantly where is mine (they say if you love something you should set it free, so maybe that’s why we’ve given away the air for no fee, and you can’t buy time so you rent it and resent it, get mad at how you’ve spent it, freeze the fire with phone choirs who act surprised when they can’t bend it. one man is enough to build a babylon to rival the best laid plans later laid to waste in the sand and one moment is enough to decide before the spring falls once and for all, which side are you on, and where’s your fire) where's your fire and more importantly where is mine
2.
catheters 03:30
i used to get high but now i don't have to anymore open hands turn to fists of stone when what we want becomes our very own you can hose it down shine it to a gleam you can show it off make the neighbours green patients circle waiting rooms with catheters in tow the sick ones cannot wait to leave and the healthy - they don't wanna go at the break of dawn or maybe just before the day arrives already wanting more a spinning leaf twisting in the wind i needed you to tell me where i've been patients circle waiting rooms with catheters in tow the sick ones cannot wait to leave and the healthy - they don't wanna go
3.
all of your queries have gone unanswered what have i done with the man you knew have all my instincts gone to pasture have all my assets come unglued though you might not see me you can surely reach out the darkness might impede you but your outstretched arms may find me i'm turning off external senses they haven't done me any good milk of magnesia and a sunday service they did the very least that they could do though you might not see me you can surely reach out the darkness might impede you but your outstretched arms may find me
4.
400 blows 02:39
the streets of barrie come alive friday night at five the hawkers close up shop and the pub doors all swing wide a dozen teenaged mothers leave their strollers in the hall to check out the tribal back piece they're totally getting next fall i wish i could have been a scrapper instead of a sensitive man would have done me some good four hundred blows to the head i can't even get angry just variations on sad there's a fight outside of myron's just like every other night sixteen college drop-outs forming a semi-circle under the streetlight one dude he could bob and the other could weave and they were looking to intersect then a tooth pops out of its cuspid and scatters across the pavement i wish i could have been a scrapper instead of a sensitive man would have done me some good four hundred blows to the head i can't even get angry just variations on sad
5.
what's next? 02:33
you made a change to confront the ones who seek the comfort of a straddled fence major upheaval of your entire life and you just shrug it off and say what's next i couldn't do it any better - you've got the wherewithal i couldn't do it any better - i couldn't do it at all we crowd around you like a party trick but you don't go in for self-serving lips your whole existence is a greatest-hits collection 'cause you've skillfully evaded the annoying bits i couldn't do it any better - you've got the wherewithal i couldn't do it any better - i couldn't do it at all everybody wants to be new but we don't wanna make the sacrifice everybody wants to be new but we won't even take our own advice i couldn't do it any better - you've got the wherewithal i couldn't do it any better - i couldn't do it at all
6.
say what? 02:54
i'm a man for all seasons a pre-tanned hide blind to the weather and the changing tides despite all the ways that i abuse you're gonna yield to the ways that i have to soothe say what - i didn't hear i wasn't listening say what - if i don't listen i don't have to think i'm a son-of-a-gun who can really turn it on to charm the defences off of anyone i'll escalate any situation creating an excuse to escape any confirmation say what - i didn't hear i wasn't listening say what - if i don't listen i don't have to think i can lie to myself while i tell you the truth so when i hit you with a doozie you'll still crawl in the booth where i can suck all the judgement from beneath your clothes and involve you in one of my episodes say what - i didn't hear i wasn't listening say what - if i don't listen i don't have to think
7.
tug 03:17
when you look at me you see exactly what you want to see but not what i want you to see 'cause i don't know just how i want to appear so how can you ever really see any image i pretend to be 'cause it was never really me pull the rug and watch me float above i never really touch the ground never really myself until i'm on your tail coasting right behind you and your tug i only ever try my great escape when i'm right in front of your face 'cause when i pull it off it's all the more mesmerizing and then you'll beg for the illusion to stay you'll draw me near just so you can watch me disappear pull the rug and watch me float above i never really touch the ground never really myself until i'm on your tail coasting right behind you and your tug
8.
six foot two 01:20
i am okay i am alright you've got your gut i've got my spite i need this grudge to stay alive because i hate an idle mind how did i fear you - i'm fucking six foot two you look like santa claus have another burger dad all expectations set aside all aspirations i've denied your apology half-hearted i cut you off before you started how did i fear you - i'm fucking six foot two i'm healthy and i'm strong - i played the drums on this song you're red-faced and you're spent and spewing flatulence how did i fear you - oh you'd better fear me too ho ho ho
9.
here comes the wine and here come the barbiturates the conscientious objectors and a tour bus full of white elephants while you were killing all your idles i was making a shrine unto myself and both of us know we should have been pursuing something else lock up the keys and throw away the door and see if we desire to walk through it anymore what's worse - you me or the dice or the fact that we don't know what we wanna be in our next life here comes the whining and here come all our parting epithets i've got a list as long as my arm of all the credit that i didn't get while you were putting on your pants i made two full-length LPs without the in-house producer and both of us have a talent for creating then living in illusions lock up the keys and throw away the door and see if we desire to walk through it anymore what's worse - you me or the dice or the fact that we can belt out tunes like slugging a softball into the wire mesh but there's nothing coming out the other side looking at each other's watches asking if anything has happened yet and if it hasn't by now it won't it won't
10.
mirage 04:43
what would you say if i told you it was never yours that it would turn around and quietly make for the door and what would you say if i told you that it wasn't the truth and that the way it is is how it's always been it wasn't there if you don't see it now it was only a mirage before and where do we stand when the day is sapping all of our strength and the supporting beam strains under the weight of all that's missing and all we can do is prepare for the shifting of sands and busy our hands until it stops receding it wasn't there if you don't see it now it was only a mirage before
11.
honest 03:35
if only for a moment it stings and goes away a small tear is an easy mend and i can hide behind these stories do my little song and dance why should you care about all my failed experiments why can't i be honest with you it's eating up my insides but i'll keep spitting out the bile so there's no forgetting just how sad you really are and i'll maybe make a dollar or take a dollar from your hand so you can feel like my defeat is your own experience why can't i be honest with you i've got to be more open to the good things i could have i've got to be more open kick these shoes off in the sand

credits

released October 2, 2015

engineered by phil hotz, andrew wiseman and jon epworth
mixed by andrew wiseman
mastered by phil hotz

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Jon Epworth

i read books and walk/bike around and then sometimes a song happens

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