CATHETERS

by Jon Epworth

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1.
2.
03:30
3.
4.
02:39
5.
02:33
6.
02:54
7.
03:17
8.
01:20
9.
10.
04:43
11.
03:35

credits

released October 2, 2015

engineered by phil hotz, andrew wiseman and jon epworth
mixed by andrew wiseman
mastered by phil hotz

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all rights reserved

about

Jon Epworth

i read books and walk/bike around and then sometimes a song happens

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Track Name: where's your fire?
one man suffer one man profit
reaching into other's pocket
pocket empty still demanding
stripped beyond all understanding
we can see it empathizing
why are we not mobilizing

where's your fire
and more importantly
where is mine

he replacing what we cherish
building mansions ostentatious
oligarchy is obtaining
while i frozen stand complaining
mere objections hold no meaning
if not followed by throat bleeding

where's your fire
and more importantly
where is mine

(they say if you love something you should set it free, so maybe that’s why we’ve given away the air for no fee, and you can’t buy time so you rent it and resent it, get mad at how you’ve spent it, freeze the fire with phone choirs who act surprised when they can’t bend it. one man is enough to build a babylon to rival the best laid plans later laid to waste in the sand and one moment is enough to decide before the spring falls once and for all, which side are you on, and where’s your fire)

where's your fire
and more importantly
where is mine
Track Name: catheters
i used to get high
but now i don't have to anymore
open hands turn to fists of stone
when what we want becomes our very own
you can hose it down shine it to a gleam
you can show it off make the neighbours green

patients circle waiting rooms
with catheters in tow
the sick ones cannot wait to leave
and the healthy - they don't wanna go

at the break of dawn or maybe just before
the day arrives already wanting more
a spinning leaf twisting in the wind
i needed you to tell me where i've been

patients circle waiting rooms
with catheters in tow
the sick ones cannot wait to leave
and the healthy - they don't wanna go
Track Name: milk of magnesia
all of your queries have gone unanswered
what have i done with the man you knew
have all my instincts gone to pasture
have all my assets come unglued

though you might not see me
you can surely reach out
the darkness might impede you
but your outstretched arms may find me

i'm turning off external senses
they haven't done me any good
milk of magnesia and a sunday service
they did the very least that they could do

though you might not see me
you can surely reach out
the darkness might impede you
but your outstretched arms may find me
Track Name: 400 blows
the streets of barrie come alive
friday night at five
the hawkers close up shop
and the pub doors all swing wide
a dozen teenaged mothers
leave their strollers in the hall
to check out the tribal back piece
they're totally getting next fall

i wish i could have been a scrapper
instead of a sensitive man
would have done me some good
four hundred blows to the head
i can't even get angry
just variations on sad

there's a fight outside of myron's
just like every other night
sixteen college drop-outs forming a semi-circle
under the streetlight
one dude he could bob and the other could weave
and they were looking to intersect
then a tooth pops out of its cuspid
and scatters across the pavement

i wish i could have been a scrapper
instead of a sensitive man
would have done me some good
four hundred blows to the head
i can't even get angry
just variations on sad
Track Name: what's next?
you made a change to confront the ones
who seek the comfort of a straddled fence
major upheaval of your entire life
and you just shrug it off and say what's next

i couldn't do it any better - you've got the wherewithal
i couldn't do it any better - i couldn't do it at all

we crowd around you like a party trick
but you don't go in for self-serving lips
your whole existence is a greatest-hits collection
'cause you've skillfully evaded the annoying bits

i couldn't do it any better - you've got the wherewithal
i couldn't do it any better - i couldn't do it at all

everybody wants to be new
but we don't wanna make the sacrifice
everybody wants to be new
but we won't even take our own advice

i couldn't do it any better - you've got the wherewithal
i couldn't do it any better - i couldn't do it at all
Track Name: say what?
i'm a man for all seasons a pre-tanned hide
blind to the weather and the changing tides
despite all the ways that i abuse
you're gonna yield to the ways that i have to soothe

say what - i didn't hear i wasn't listening
say what - if i don't listen i don't have to think

i'm a son-of-a-gun who can really turn it on
to charm the defences off of anyone
i'll escalate any situation
creating an excuse to escape any confirmation

say what - i didn't hear i wasn't listening
say what - if i don't listen i don't have to think

i can lie to myself while i tell you the truth
so when i hit you with a doozie you'll still crawl in the booth
where i can suck all the judgement from beneath your clothes
and involve you in one of my episodes

say what - i didn't hear i wasn't listening
say what - if i don't listen i don't have to think
Track Name: tug
when you look at me you see exactly what you want to see
but not what i want you to see
'cause i don't know just how i want to appear
so how can you ever really see
any image i pretend to be
'cause it was never really me

pull the rug and watch me float above
i never really touch the ground
never really myself until i'm on your tail
coasting right behind you and your tug

i only ever try my great escape
when i'm right in front of your face
'cause when i pull it off it's all the more
mesmerizing
and then you'll beg for the illusion to stay
you'll draw me near
just so you can watch me
disappear

pull the rug and watch me float above
i never really touch the ground
never really myself until i'm on your tail
coasting right behind you and your tug
Track Name: six foot two
i am okay i am alright
you've got your gut i've got my spite
i need this grudge to stay alive
because i hate an idle mind

how did i fear you - i'm fucking six foot two
you look like santa claus
have another burger dad

all expectations set aside
all aspirations i've denied
your apology half-hearted
i cut you off before you started

how did i fear you - i'm fucking six foot two
i'm healthy and i'm strong - i played the drums on this song
you're red-faced and you're spent and spewing flatulence
how did i fear you - oh you'd better fear me too

ho ho ho
Track Name: you, me, or the dice
here comes the wine and here come the barbiturates
the conscientious objectors and a tour bus full of white elephants
while you were killing all your idles i was making a shrine unto myself
and both of us know we should have been pursuing something else

lock up the keys and throw away the door
and see if we desire to walk through it anymore
what's worse - you me or the dice
or the fact that we don't know what we wanna be in our next life

here comes the whining and here come all our parting epithets
i've got a list as long as my arm of all the credit that i didn't get
while you were putting on your pants i made two full-length LPs without the in-house producer
and both of us have a talent for creating then living in illusions

lock up the keys and throw away the door
and see if we desire to walk through it anymore
what's worse - you me or the dice
or the fact that we can

belt out tunes like slugging a softball into the wire mesh
but there's nothing coming out the other side
looking at each other's watches asking if anything has happened yet
and if it hasn't by now
it won't

it won't
Track Name: mirage
what would you say if i told you it was never yours
that it would turn around and quietly make for the door
and what would you say if i told you that it wasn't the truth
and that the way it is is how it's always been

it wasn't there if you don't see it now
it was only a mirage before

and where do we stand when the day is sapping all of our strength
and the supporting beam strains under the weight of all that's missing
and all we can do is prepare for the shifting of sands
and busy our hands until it stops receding

it wasn't there if you don't see it now
it was only a mirage before
Track Name: honest
if only for a moment
it stings and goes away
a small tear is an easy mend
and i can hide behind these stories
do my little song and dance
why should you care about all my failed experiments

why can't i be honest with you

it's eating up my insides
but i'll keep spitting out the bile
so there's no forgetting just how sad you really are
and i'll maybe make a dollar
or take a dollar from your hand
so you can feel like my defeat is your own experience

why can't i be honest with you

i've got to be more open
to the good things i could have
i've got to be more open
kick these shoes off in the sand